Remember My Name

In honor of the National Violence Awareness Month, there is no better way to kick off than the traditional, Remember My Name.

These are the names and details of the lives lost in Arizona in 2019

To find info for your State: https://www.acesdv.org/fatality-reports/

I Came To Conquer.

When I finally gained the courage to stop waiting for the “perfect time” to start living my goals and changing lives for the better… Something ALWAYS came up.

My name is Nicole, and I am a badass single Mom of four. As of right now, 2 out of the 4 have been diagnosed with special needs, and as of this week, the battle with getting them both a 504 Plan this year, has been won (more about that in the future, I’m sure.)

This isn’t the way I saw my life turning out. In fact, growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a badass wife, incredible mother, and business owner. I never saw a double whammy of domestic violence, failed marriage after ten years, broken engagement to my high school sweetheart, and becoming a single mother of four, headed my way.

Never.

I did see however, all of these vicious hurdles being chucked at my face coming my way during the season that I was struggling through Surviving..

It was almost as if life was saying,

“It’s time to level up.. Let’s see you dodge this one, bitch!”

There were nights that after putting the Tribe to bed I would tip toe into the bathroom and silently cry. Cry & pray was literally all I could do.

There were many days that I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed to face another day at the office helping others reach their career goals yet alone put on my “happy face” and pretend like life was incredible.

I had a Tribe to represent, to feed, and to lead by example proving to them that we would make it better than before.

So without fail, I was blessed to continue hustling with a happy heart (trust me it sounds easier than it was.)

Before we knew it, not only did we:

  • Escape
  • Live in a hotel and manage not to go crazy (I still remember replacing the photos on the wall & the bed linen to make it look and feel more like a studio apartment… a home.. rather than a hotel room.)
  • Managed to make ends meet despite ridiculous hotel room costs (I had to get creative online in order to make sure I kept the Special Promo Discount literally every week or we were doomed!) but the vehicle I was still financing was constantly breaking down.. (That year I replaced the engine once, the transmission twice, and the radiator once)
  • Made it into our beautiful home in a great neighborhood
  • Bought a brand new trendy SUV
  • Switched jobs

The list goes on and on..

Far above everything listed, we grew. We grew as individuals, as a Tribe, and as one.

My goal is simple.

I decided to make today the day that the timing is “perfect” & go all in without looking back.

I am blogging, recording Podcasts, and volunteering..

Not for me, but for

you.

The goal is to reach you on every level possible:

  • Victim of domestic violence
  • You might not be ready to leave, but you need the education, resources, motivation, or just a reminder that you aren’t alone.
    • Fellow Badass Survivor of DV
  • You might need motivation, encouragement, support, reminder to never look back and to continue moving forward, or even additional resources for Survivors.
    • Single Parent
  • Budget, people! It’s the thing we doing talk about out loud in public, but we have to follow it. Providing for the little people, bills, ages and stages of the kids and what we go through, co-parenting with the abuser, rights the abuser has, counseling for you or the kids, implementing traditions, battles with the kids since the DV occurred, battles with the school, special needs, and the famous dating life (just wait until we discuss the Fuck Boys Gone Wild segment 😆)
    • Overall health being a badass Boss Babe (men are Boss babes too, own it!)
  • Self love, self worth, self discipline, goals, fitness, fitness tips (I lost 82lbs and once upon a time, I was a personal trainer) meal plans, making time for self and for friends, and whatever else the Survivor needs, let’s discuss!
  • My goal is simple.

    I came to conquer

    and

    create fellow

    Surviving Matriarchs

    to join

    my

    Tribe.

    I want to be that Podcast you choose to listen to because my voice and what I say add value to your life.

    I want my words on this blog to be the words you read that help you on many different levels.. Even if you are reading this on the toilet (don’t forget to wipe.)

    I want to be the Survivor helping you become wiser, stronger, and more courageous than ever, to defeat another day and demolish whatever goal you create.

    It’s a dark world out there.. While we barely survived DV, the least you need is the world to eat you alive when you can finally breathe & live life in peace.

    I’m here to help you conquer.

    Behind Bars

    The mental and emotional abuse started again.

    I reported it to the police and his probation officer every time.

    His probation officer was a lazy turd and did nothing.

    Even when he had a warrant for his arrest with family court- The probation officer sat on his ass.

    Next option: Supervisor

    I and a team of others, worked hand in hand with the supervisor.

    Success:

    Court: New Judge

    Thank God.

    This one failed to educate herself prior to the hearing however, she allowed for me to speak, took time to review previous documents and orders, and ruled per law orders!

    Court: Is it over yet?

    After many petitions and motions to the court since the first hearing, it was finally time for another appearance.

    Ahhh yes… I can’t forget the details can I? Fuckboy decided to run from child support and all future orders getting served on him since the first court hearing.
    Coward. Deadbeat.

    Thanks for assisting with proving my case..

    For Survivors out there: Never give up and never back down. Fight back.

    Mmmmm Hmmm! In case you forgot JUDGE!
    Oops! It looks like this was “forgotten about” allow me to remind you all..

    Court: Reporting The Judge

    The crap she threw at me, the Victim…

    The crap she allowed him to get away with, the abuser…

    Was not okay.

    I reported the Judge and then upon further research I learned that this was her first year in Family Court.

    Grreeeeat! It’s my luck to have an inexperienced Judge ruling over my life.

    According to the information available to the public, she was a Lawyer and dealt with business law..

    Business Law VS Family Law are two entirely different worlds!

    Thank you, Governor Duecey for this awful decision you made. Not a very wise one.

    Court: Nope, Fuck your Court Appointed Advisor.

    Normally, I’d participate especially when it’s Court ordered.

    However, this one got under my skin.

    I called as I was ordered to do, and she refused to work with my work schedule.

    She refused to meet me at my house- Excuse me bitch? Isn’t it better if you came to my house so you can see where my child lives and what food he eats and so on?

    She tried to bully me into losing another day of pay, drive my broken down vehicle (at the time), an hour and a half away from my house…

    I object and order you myself, to go fuck yourself ma’am.

    It goes without saying, she was dismissed from the case.

    Court: Time to get vicious

    At this point, the Judge approved 8 hours of supervised parental time a month at a facility, at the father’s expense.

    Due to my demanding schedule, the Judge granted my request to provide me with 48 hours notice of the scheduled parental visit.

    The fuckboy never scheduled a visit.

    Never paid child support.

    And tried to get me to settle things outside of court.

    Fuck you bro, now you’re fucked and helped me prove my case.. You want to run when the fun is just about to begin?

    Nope. I refuse to meet outside of court orders.

    I documented and reported everything.

    Three months go by and I received a letter from court stating that they gave him not only one but two other chances to provide a hair follicular test without my knowledge and without him even requesting it!

    What the fuck? The Judge bullies me into pulling funds from my rent to do this ridiculous hair test stating if I didn’t do it when she ordered it then his orders would be granted and my son could be taken from me?

    Fuck you bitch, now WE are going to go head to head. Who is your boss? Who can I reach out to?

    Court: Bitch Better Have My $

    Hair follicle results arrived in my email and I was found at court providing an additional copy that I knew the neglectful Judge already had.

    I waited days for the results to show in the minutes online.

    Behold. As I anticipated, I was the only one who took the hair follicle test.

    What a waste of time, money, and fucking hair!

    I now had four bald spots.

    I submitted another round of motions to the court.

    Angrier than ever that a judge could ever allow the case to continue- There is was, in bold lettering online… Another fucking court date.